Please Don't Judge Me

Raising five girls, I am learning a lot about myself and about females in general. I guess that it is making me more aware, and I have to admit- I don't like what I see. My 6yo fancy girl who loved tutus and regularly wore THIS over-the-top ensemble to school now wears the same activewear outfit that I bought for gym days as soon as it is washed. She wore it Monday and she is wearing it again today (Wednesday). Gym class is tomorrow. If she was outgrowing the phase, it would be one thing, but I asked her about it and she said, "No one at school dresses fancy." She just wants to fit in.

It made me sad to think of her giving up her sense of style just to blend in with the crowd, but my response to her wearing the same outfit yet again was to worry about what people might think about my parenting. I am no better.

What I am realizing is that girls so often want to fit in, to be accepted by their peers. Their peers can be mean.

Some never outgrow it and adult women can get caught up in tearing others down to build themselves up or measuring themselves against others' social media displays of perfection.

I think maybe it is harder for mothers. The stakes are high and it can feel like you have no idea what you are doing. The stages, the challenges, the solutions are constantly changing. And we all make so many mistakes. It is hard to tell if you are doing it "right" and no one even agrees on that definition. We look around and compare, looking for validation in some way. This is where it can get ugly.

We all have different priorities when it comes to running our homes. We also have different challenges and different blessings. Yet, we never see the whole picture in anyone else's story...

Keeping up on the laundry in this house is H A R D. There are at least 10 socks in each load of laundry that don't have mates. I do at least 3 big loads of laundry every day, not including towels or bedding. If you come to my house and the sock basket is overflowing and the furniture is covered in folded and unfolded laundry, please don't judge me.

I like to sew but I hate to do mending. I messed up when I hemmed my bathroom curtains and have left them hanging lopsided for months. It just isn't a priority for me to fix them anytime soon, so please don't judge me.

My desk was clean a few days ago but it is the prime spot in the house for everyone to dump random things. It is clean again now because I couldn't find my media card reader to transfer these pictures. (I actually found that under the dining room table.) Lots of people live here and make messes, including myself, so please don't judge me.

Every now and then I try to get the kids to make their beds, but it I have learned to choose my battles. That one is not usually worth fighting before 7am. Things might have looked great when I took pics for the blog (HERE) but their beautiful bedroom is normally a mess. My children's training is still a work in progress, so please don't judge me.

I haven't finished my fall decorating yet. I was not feeling so great and I have been busy with other priorities. The kids stuffed some weeds in my milk can and there is a soccer ball where I plan on putting a pumpkin. Use your imagination. I am not a fabulous home decorator, even if I am crafty in some ways, so please don't judge me.

Please don't think that I am some crafty genius who does homemade everything and has an amazingly decorated house. Also, when you see my shortcomings, please don't judge me for having different priorities and struggles than you do.

Kindness and grace for myself and for others is something that I want to focus on more intentionally and try to instill in my daughters. I can tell you from experience that people at school barely notice what your kid is wearing. I am still going to hide that outfit because I am sick of seeing it and want her to get some wear out of her other clothes but I want to be mindful of reinforcing the concept of petty, social judgement.

The Unicorn Dress

If you haven't noticed, I never made Easter dresses for the rest of my girls. They don't really need more clothes, and I was kinda' burnt out after Project Run and Play. I got fabric for some of them, so we'll see what I feel like making in the future. This is my new underachiever attitude: I will sew if and when I feel like it. Isn't that how a hobby is supposed to be? The day of my youngest child's 4th birthday, I felt like sewing. I didn't have much of the unicorn fabric I had ordered for her, so I knew that I should probably sew something with it before she outgrew the fabric or her unicorn obsession. I had been stuck in that overthinking stage, but I realized that an imperfect dress was better than a piece of fabric on my shelf.

I used the free London dress pattern from Violette Field Threads. I extended the bodice and for the skirt I just used 3/4 yd of the unicorn panel cut in half. It went together really easily, although the top is a little wide under the arms. Maybe she will grow into it? It isn't perfect, but I have a feeling that she will wear this dress until it is completely stained or falls apart.

For pure silliness I photoshopped a horn on our horse, just because my daughter asked me to. Why not?

Bias tape: Joann Bodice: When Skies Are Grey by Simple Simon and Co. for Riley Blake Skirt: Unicorn Parade by Sarah Jane for Michael Miller

The Flower Girl Dress

I actually made three of them, but I don't feel comfortable posting other people's kids'  pictures on my website, so I only have pictures of the one that my daughter wore. As with any sewing project, there is more to the story. My niece asked my daughter to be a flower girl and also asked if I would sew the dresses. I love sewing pretty little girl dresses- especially matching ones- so I was excited about this project! Except, I procrastinated. Yes, I use that "P" word an awful lot here on the blog. Part of my excuse was waiting for a swatch, part of it was waiting for our difficult summer vacation to end, and part of it was other commitments that had earlier deadlines. But, really, most of the problem is my indecision.

I overthink just about every decision. I make things entirely more difficult than they need to be. Finally, when I have no time left to change my mind yet again, I just get it done. (Project Run and Play was a great exercise in this area!) So, after much debating, I went back to my original plan and sewed like the wind a few days before the wedding.

Not everyone has such confidence in my procrastinatory sewing. The bride herself, was amazingly cool about it. A few other people close to me expressed their doubts, if only in the realm of "what if you fall down the stairs and break both arms and can't sew." (Duh! That is why I teach my kids to sew!) For some reason, I was not AT ALL stressed about it. I was completely cool and confident. (A certain someone called me cocky.) Anyway, they really ticked me off!

I know that I am rude and inconsiderate for stressing other people out who may not understand who they are dealing with here, and for that, I am sorry.

But everything went FINE! I only made one, tiny, easily fixable mistake in the entire process. All three dresses were the same size, so I did them assembly line style. All of the tops were finished in about 4 hours Wednesday evening. I leisurely completed the skirts Thursday. I even threw in a bonus mother-of-the-bride dress hem. All of them fit perfectly. So... :p to those who doubted!

My rant went a little long there.

I loosely followed the Cairo dress pattern from Violette Field Threads. I own the tween pattern so I sized it down to a 3T on my own. I also wanted these to be simple, flowy, and short to complement the boots and bridesmaid dresses. So, the skirt is a layer of lining and a layer of gathered eggnog tulle.

The top is made of a satin remnant and lining fabric. I handstitched the linings closed so the elastic back is only sewn to the inside. The lace straps are from packaged hem facing. Finally, I glued a flower from the scrapbook section to felt circles and pinned it to the dress to coordinate with the wedding theme even more.

Congratulations to my niece and her new husband! Thank you for having confidence in me and letting me make these adorable dresses!!!

Rustic Chicken Wire Photo Display

I think my 17yo son inherited some of my crafty genes. When I took him school shopping he asked to go to craft stores to get inspiration for his girlfriend's birthday gift. I didn't mind. ;) They are renovating her bedroom, so he wanted to make something for her new room. He combined inspiration from a few different pieces that we saw, made a small tray for a practice run, then built the final product.

He chose the paint colors (the aqua will match her decor) and did everything by himself. The back of the display is made of plaster lath so it has a rough texture that looks really rustic when painted.

His sisters also wanted to make something for her birthday. They insisted that I was not allowed to help them, but somehow blamed me when things didn't work. (You can't hot glue shells to wet sand!) On the third attempt, after much fighting and drama, they finally succeeded.

Hopefully she likes to decorate with pictures. :)